Roses in December

“Love one another. As I have loved you so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples.” -John 13:34

This is not to say that the ministry I’m involved with is impoverished in this way but nor am I saying that it excels in this way (because love believes it cannot love enough). This is an ideal for any ministry to strive for.

Of course, love is something that extends beyond romance, friends even family. A truly universally embracing love realizes that for each person love expresses itself differently. In ministry this principle is essential. For those who have been in a ministry longer, patience and inclusivity are much more necessary attributes of love FOR those new to the ministry. And those new to ministry need to have a love expressed as trust and humility FOR their predecessors. This is more or less obvious.

Common to all expression of love in ministry is the need to see yourself in solidarity with the rest of the body. What this means in practice is there should never be an accusative and separating dialogue even if it is internal. In practice that means no one should entertain thoughts like, “I’m doing my part but the others aren’t.” The success of one is the success of all AND, most difficult to accept, the failure of one is the failure of all.

Aside from describing love in ministry via negativa, the most important thing to do is to identify with even the “least” in the ministry. By least in this does not mean the youngest or the newest. Rather “least” are the ones that are the least in your eyes. Identify yourself as part of the same group as the people you dislike, that annoy you, and that really make it difficult for you to be there in the ministry. That is what will take the love of God to get you through this period of carrying your cross.

A good ministry will…

Protect one another

defend one another

teach one another (without recourse to who is older, years in the ministry)

understand one another

appreciate one another

heal one another

live selflessly for one another

At the cost of being…

vulnerable

hurt

misunderstood

humiliated

unappreciated

crucified

The reality of ministry that, unless it is accepted, will burn anyone out in the first year of ministry is that it is a love that will make you suffer. You give of yourself completely without a return. Some will expect it and not get it. But as Francis says it is in giving of yourself that you receive, but don’t let the words fool you. What you receive won’t be fuzzy feelings of appreciation (though be grateful if you do) Rather, what you are given is the opportunity to Love even more.

“Love is to see yourself in the other until there is no other.” — Richard of St. Victor

“I call you friends.” -Jesus

People tend to think that friendship is necessarily a two way street. Don’t get me wrong it definitely SHOULD be. However, Friendship exists as long as one loves regardless of whether it is reciprocated. Jesus is the best and prime example of that. HE calls us friend!!! We, the people that hurt him, abandon him, deny knowing him and betray him with a kiss, are called friends by Jesus. Take a second to fathom the implications of that.

This is what the saints throughout the ages have always tried to remind you of. Love may seek love in return, however, it is not a requirement. Jesus not only loved you first but as the name unconditional suggests, even if you hate Jesus, He loves you. Jesus loves you whether or not you think he was just an extraordinarily moral yet ordinary human being, an historical figure, whether you think everything what was said about Him in the Bible are lies, even if you don’t think He even exists, Jesus loves you; then, now and forever and into eternity.

The challenge of reciprocating friendship with Christ is the entire Christian life which includes loving one another as God loves us. Like the apostle said, to say that you love God but hate your neighbor is a lie. The notion of loving as God loves itself is quite profound and simple but of course it is manifesting it in our very being that is most difficult. It goes against everything that we’ve been trained to do as members of our current society. To place some other at the center of our attention, effort and energy instead of ourselves. That is love though. To will the good of the other.

Friendship is nothing other than a manifestation of true love. Know that in any friendship with a sinner, there will be hurts and suffering. When loving a sinner, it is unavoidable. It is the wisdom and paradox of the cross. The challenge is to LOVE ANYWAY. It will be one-sided at times and you’ll feel like it is not worth the trouble but what greater love is there than to lay down your life for your friends?

The comfort is knowing that we do have a friend that only blesses. That is our life-spring, and source of all love: the animating principle of the love we possess.

“As a Body is one though it has many parts…So also Christ… the body is not a single part, but many.” Paul (1 Cor 12:12-14)

It is a tendency of the world, or anyone ‘outside’ looking in, to view the Church as a massive monotony of mindless sheep. Sheep under the shepherding of the Good Shepherd we may be, but we are far from mindless and far from monotonous. One of the core teachings of the Church is its unity in diversity.

Three friends of mine are really good friends with one another. The first will tell you his life story if you so much as greet him. Loud and extremely interpersonal, he is the poster boy for extroverts everywhere. Despite having to make effort to get a word in with him, it is his talkativeness that makes him hospitable. You will not feel like an outsider with him around.

The second is perhaps the exact opposite. One of few words and certainly prefers the company of those familiar to him. Despite this, people seek him out to talk to him. Whether advice is given is not so important, just being listened to by him is often enough. He is almost constantly on the listening end of a hearty and meaningful conversation.

The third is neither here nor there since both previous involve contact with many people. The third is not one to talk nor do people seek him out to be listened to by him. He often provides just what the other two need to keep going, the reminder to stay close to God and to pray.

What makes this group of friends interesting for each is that they are all different from one another. I can’t imagine a more boring group of people than several people all exactly like me. What makes them work is what they have to offer one another. For example, the extroverts ability to make friends is a catalyst for the introvert and the contemplative to also make friends who wouldn’t be able to otherwise. This interplay is what makes their friendship work.

Interestingly enough, this is also how the Church or any Christian body works when it is fruitful. Christ is always the head but a body is always going to need the introvert, the extrovert and the contemplative.

It behooves us to know what we are. Who those around us are and build the foundation for a loving body using those living stones.

“God Gave us memory so that we can have roses in December.” —Thomas Merton

Today was the third time I heard this quote. Today I heard it at a funeral.

The first time i encountered this, I was quite struck by it. Not only by the quote’s immediate beauty, but I was also struck by its lingering mystery. I was amazed at how much meaning was packed into so few words. I would write a whole commentary on this saying alone if that was the goal of this blog. However, I would like to focus on just two aspects of it.

Memory is a gift. I imagine that living, in any sense of the word, would be difficult to do without a memory. That much is clear. Even animals have some form of memory to aid their instinct. However, the memory given to persons takes on a mysterious character. We can call to mind memories at will, particularly the ones vividly burned into our consciousness to the point where we can recall all the senses that were touched by the memory. All this has a purpose.

December carries with it a wealth meaning and importance. December, for majority of the world (since most of the world lives above the equator), is the month that signals the beginning of the cold winter months, as it contains the shortest day of the year. At once, it also signals the end of a year. If not for the many holy days in December, it would be a very dark, cold and depressing month. Yet, what makes December at all joyous is our memory. We call to mind the coming of God into the world at Christmas. We remember those less fortunate. We are ourselves remembered by those who love us.

This is most fitting for those currently enduring the Decembers of our lives as we all have done and will do. During those dark and cold days when our hearts are weary, when we’ve lost someone dear to us, when we are overwhelmed by life’s blizzards, we must cling to the memories of the sun’s warmth and light. Those roses remind us that these storms and cold spells are only temporary. The sun is never really gone, just shining somewhere else for a while.

I offer the suggestion that as the close of this year comes, it is a good time to stop and smell the roses. Yes, poignant memories will prick you as you do, however, you will find a rose’s fragrance and beauty well worth beholding.